Skip to main content

I'll Build a Boat in the Desert Place


One of my best friends sent me this song today and said "This is you"...I listened to it and I wept...

                                                                  Build a Boat - Colton Dixon

I will build a boat in the sand where they say it never rains
And I will stand up in faith, I'll do anything it takes
With Your wind in my sails, Your love never fails or fades
I'll build a boat in the desert place
So let it rain...

Guys, I haven't had lyrics hit my heart so hard in a very long time. I texted my friend back and said "I'll build a boat in the desert place...that filled my whole soul".

Because that is what I am doing here. I'm just trying to build the boat that the Lord has called me to build in this barren desert place that I am in.

And. It. Is. Hard.

Because it doesn't always make sense, this life that I am choosing to live. It often doesn't make sense to others and sometimes it doesn't even make sense to me. But here I am, sitting in the desert asking God to give me the tools I need to build this boat. Board by board...nail by nail.

I choose to build this boat because I believe that He parted the Red Sea...

I choose to build this boat because I believe that He made the walls of Jericho fall...

I choose to build this boat because I believe in the bloody cross and the empty tomb...

I choose to build this boat because I believe He will send the rains...

He. Will. Send. The. Rains.

I don't want to live my life for the certainties of the world. I don't want to accept what the world has to offer simply because it's substantial and concrete in this moment. I am not living for this world, nor its false or empty promises.

I am building a boat because that is my calling. The calling that has seen my joy and seen my grief. The calling that watched as both members of my little family died and left me so very much alone. The calling that existed as the spring evaporated from the ground and created this desert place I am in. 

The calling that still exists...even in this desert place.

Let us honor the sanctity of the boat builders in our lives.

Let us not ask people to explain their stories to us...but instead ask them to share their stories with us...for there is such a great difference. 

Let us not criticize too harshly the mishaps along the way. We all have had them. Me, very much, included.

I promise that they hurt me too. And I am just as sorry that they happened. I wish learning didn't have to come with hurt...but we rarely get out unscathed when we attempt something new. I am sorry that my hurts also hurt you.

I am just trying my very best at building something that I've never built before.

A new story...

A new hope...

A new motherhood...

A new adventure, even when I was too scared to hope for one before...I am building a new one...because, I guess, I am still an adventurer after all...

I'll build a boat in the desert place...

Because He has called me to this...

And. He. WILL. Send. The. Rains. 





 



Labels:

Comments

  1. JoyceMay 17, 2022 at 3:54 AM

    Amen! When you need re-supplying, we'll share with you. ❤️

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

John Died...2 Years Ago

  John Died...2 years ago. 2 years...how has so much time passed? It feels like just yesterday I was writing about the 1 year anniversary of his death, congratulating all of us for surviving the brutality of that first year. Regardless, it feels like now is a good time to throw out some life updates, talk about how life as a 2nd year widow is going. It's great...definitely great...well, it's ok...sometimes it's ok...actually sometimes it's awful...it's always awful...no, no, it's usually fairly good...sometimes it's amazing. I guess it really just depends on the day... I no longer reach out in the middle of the night for him. I don't grab my phone to text him about something that just happened. I don't look for him in a crowd. I don't struggle to fall asleep alone. I don't even dream about him anymore... It would seem, that even my subconscious has truly accepted that he's gone. That's good...right? He is no longer a part of any of my
1 comment
Read more

Christian Widowed Mother (34) - On The Market

     Tomorrow would have have been my 15th wedding anniversary with John, had he not passed away just shy of our 13th anniversary.  It still sometimes boggles my mind that "death do us part" happened so much sooner than we planned. And yet here I am...out in the dating world attempting to find "it" again. It certainly has me feeling some type of way, let me tell ya. And I think the past 1.5ish years I've spent in the dating world has also made lots of other people feel some type of way. "It is what it is" seems a bit of a cliched response...but it really  is  what it is. In the absence of a husband with whom to celebrate a covenant made many many moons ago...I feel like now is a good time to update the world (or my small corner of it) on how dating as a widowed Christian mother in her 30s is going. Here are some things I've learned: -"Christian" is a term used by so many men...yet personified by so very few of them. I am in a somewhat con
Post a Comment
Read more

I. Am. Brave.

  I. Am. Brave. I say those words to myself over and over again as I clean out my dead husband's garage and tool boxes and old work truck. I say them as tears fall, creating tracks down my face as they mix with the dirt and grease that have somehow found their way to my cheeks.  I whisper them as I sit in a freezing cold garage after hours of work that seem to not make a dent in reshaping John's old haven into something usable for the widow that I am now.  I sob them as I throw away another treasure, another memory...another moment lost forever. Just things...they're just things. But...sometimes "things" are all the tangibleness that's left after a 13 year marriage dissolves into tragedy. I. Am. Brave. I say those words as I sit at my kitchen table and homeschool my teenage daughter. Even though I never wanted to homeschool her. Even though I thought that I just didn't have the mental capacity to take on one more hard thing these days.  I say it as she sto
2 comments
Read more