From Riches to Rags, and the Glory I Found There

  I've wondered how long it might be until family photos finally feel like there isn't someone missing...  It's been almost 9 years since my son passed away...and I still feel his absence in every family photo. Every time someone mentions the "whole" family...my heart still knows he's missing from me.  I've wondered if it will ever feel normal that John no longer exists in these precious memory keepers? I've discovered that 9 years isn't enough time for absence to be normalized. Maybe 10 years is the magic number? Maybe 15? Someone please tell it that it's better by year 20... Anybody...? Please? My brother got married this past weekend and it was such a beautiful and wonderful wedding. I was so thankful for the opportunity to watch them vow to spend their lives together. But half of my little family was missing...and I felt their absence deeply.  I'm sorry that I am the reason our family will never be "whole". I'm sorry that ...