From Riches to Rags, and the Glory I Found There

I could never begin to pretend to understand the wonderful highs and devastating lows the last 9 months has brought to me. To have such joy and hope and then to have it ripped away in the most traumatic way possible has been life shattering.   Writing has been the way I process through my thoughts and emotions since I was about 12 years old. So many people talk about how they need to “sit down and have a good cry” but I never feel that, I feel the need to sit down and write it all out. Writing is the pressure release when my heart has just built up so much hurt, anxiety, or trauma. Every single time I have struggled with something in the last 20 years I have gone to my journal and written everything out. I don’t often write when things are going well and I’m content in life. It’s when life is hard that I find those blank pages calling to me.  It took me 10 days to start journaling again after John died. And I really only started again because my mom told me I should write i...