From Riches to Rags, and the Glory I Found There

  Here I sit, all alone in my darkened house, having lived through my 34th birthday.  I did it, I turned the age that John was never able to turn...and I survived the grief that accompanies that deep knowledge...what an incredible privilege. I have always loved that my birthday was surrounded by Thanksgiving. It's a privilege to have my life so connected to the act of giving thanks. To the gathering of family and friends. To the pick-up football games. To all the Thanksgiving traditions.  I never knew what journeys God would bring about in my life in regards to thankfulness. I was given so many wondrous years of joy and hope and life...before sorrow and grief and suffering took such a strong hold. I have often felt like Job, with suffering upon suffering lavished upon my life. And I have sat in the ashes and grieved the deepest of losses...more than once. And I have been asked to still love...called upon to dig deeper...ushered to give just a little more...time and time a...

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 As we approach Thanksgiving I often find myself meditating on what being in a season of thankfulness truly means.  It is often easy to think of all the good things in your life. Easy to count your blessings instead of sheep. Easy to see the goodness of God in all of the wonderful aspects of your life. But what about the hard things? The dark things? The loneliness. the longing, the logos of suffering we seem to wear on our hearts. Are we thinking about these things on Thanksgiving morning? Do they make it onto your handmade Turkey every year? In my 33 years of life, I have experienced extreme loneliness. I have felt the deep longing. I have been branded with the logos of suffering. It is as permanent as the ink in my skin that shapes the letters of my son's name on my wrist. The son who died before he could take his first breath.  I want to look past these things. I wa...