From Riches to Rags, and the Glory I Found There

There are stories I tell myself in the dark recesses of the night. When exhaustion has somehow given way to insomnia. When the ease of joy has faded with the setting sun and grief has slipped into the room with the shadows of the night.  When I was a little girl I woke up my father one night and told him that nightmares were keeping me awake. He told me to lay back down and to imagine all the good things what I wanted to dream about. He taught me that I had to power to change my dreams, to sway my heart. The wisdom of fatherhood in action. The telling of stories came naturally to me, even then. And as I grew up, I found other ways to share my stories. Eventually coming to settle into the consistent action of blogging. Sharing my stories with my small corner of the world.  But sometimes I still feel like the little girl I once was, with nightmares threatening to keep me awake. And, unfortunately, those nightmares can sometimes be real, existing in the sunlight just as much as t...

I've literally spent years learning how to be a barren woman.         It sounds strange doesn't it? Like I had to go to school and stumble through a bachelors degree in infertility and years later I'm still working on my masters in barren-hood. Obviously I started by majoring in motherhood but somehow flunked out and realized that my credits could transfer so I'm here just trying to survive finals.       Did I take the analogy too far? It was just to show you that this is a process, a process that does require learning new things, and re-learning old things. A process that forces you to re-evaluate where you thought you were going and makes you change your behavior to be successful.       I tend to be upfront and possibly a tad blunt when it comes to infertility. Why are we so secretive about such a defining part of our lives? If my leg was amputated I wouldn't be constantly hiding it under a blanket after I've h...

     This is a hard one... Last year John and I prayed deeply about stopping actively trying to conceive. We spent a month in prayer and asked a few people to pray for us as well. John and I felt like we needed to stop. Stop with the tests, stop with the meds, stop with tracking cycles, stop with the supplements. I specifically felt like this was just for a year, I wasn't sure what we were supposed to do after that year but I knew He would reveal it in His time.      The Lord blessed us so much in honoring Him and trusting His will for us. We have truly had an amazing year. We traveled to Brazil on a missions trip, took weekend trips to Lancaster, Kings Dominion and Va Beach, vacationed with our family in the Outerbanks, and took a once in a lifetime trip to Albuquerque, the Grand Canyon, and Cimarron! And the year isn't even over yet!!! I can honestly say this year has been one of the busiest years we've ever had.      At the beg...

Hello Friends! We've had a bit of a whirlwind of activity the past few weeks. My sister and I (along with our eager-to-help family members) helped plan and execute my brothers wedding (congratulations Daniel and Crystal!) and... We had our first home visit! EEK! It's becoming real, haha!  The visit went really well (thanks to my awesome sisters, Heidi and Heather, for taking time out of wedding prep to help me!). Our case worker is a wonderful lady who is very friendly. She was so easy to talk to and I'm looking forward to working with her in the future. We have three more home visits that we need to finish before we can be certified, and just a few things that we need to fix/lock up to get the house ready (screens on all the windows, locking up all medicines, locking up cleaning supplies, and just a little more bedroom prep). It's nice to be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel! John and I have been praying about how prepared we should be fo...