It’s an interesting phenomenon, to have a child so deeply loved by your community and to be treated so abhorrently by that same child. My daughter was desperately prayed for. Desperately wanted. So many people in my family, and church, and community donated their time and prayers and money to make her adoption a reality. And I am abused by her almost every day. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a traumatized little girl stuck in the body of an adult, with the coping skills of a toddler, and reasoning of a small child. She’s had the whole deck stacked against her for the majority of her life. So, I don’t take it personally. And I certainly don’t think it’s the same as another adult being abusive, let alone a spouse. She is still just a child, my child, and her abuse is seen through that lens. But she thrives on creating abusive chaos in our home. And those wounds can cut deep even when not taken personally. She’s been in counseling since the second week she c...
On December 27, 2021 - almost 7 months after my husband died - I drove 4 hours to pick up a 12 year old girl who needed a home. 4 years later I rang in the anniversary of bringing her home by sleeping on the floor of her hospital room. Hours before, after a great day together, she dissolved into a tantrum that she couldn’t control and I couldn’t bring her out of. She was hurting herself and threatening me and I had to call the police so she would stop. We ended up in the ER for a behavioral health evaluation (not our first rodeo) and it was decided that the best thing for her was to spend a week at an in-patient facility. 4 years ago I drove her home…and today I had to let someone else drive her away. This is the part that everyone warned me about 4 years ago. The hardness of this part…the possible hopelessness of this part. The brokenness of this part. My daughter’s situation isn’t abnormal in the adoption community, or even in the parenting of biological...