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The Stability in Treatment



 



I sat in counseling Monday night and said “I think things are finally stable enough that I can really start processing through the trauma of this past year…and I feel like that’s gonna be rough”. 


It’s trading one scary thing for another scary thing. And that’s hard. 


Things with Laura have finally stabilized and I’m so so thankful for the team of therapists, caseworkers, family, and friends who’ve supported us through the horrific journey that has been navigating through RAD in my adopted teenage daughter. 


Laura is in a therapeutic residential facility for the foreseeable future and

I. AM. SO. THANKFUL. 


My heart literally breaks at the knowledge that she could no longer stay in our home and maintain safety. The grief that I’ve been processing through is no small thing, let alone what Laura herself is processing through. It’s all so very much. 


But I was able to get approval for residential treatment and found an amazing facility only a few hours away. 

She is doing so very well there. She’s attending a charter school on the campus. Participating in sports and choir. She calls me almost every night and I get to see her every other weekend. 

She has individual therapy, I have counseling, and we have family therapy together. 


And for the first time in so long, I’m hopeful for her future. I’m hopeful that, with the threat of attachment removed from her everyday life, she will actually thrive in her facility. And when issues come up, she will be able to work through them because there’s no longer a “me VS her” narrative that can exist in her mind now. 


My daughter is safe. 


I am safe. 


And that is such an incredible miracle. 


Because not every kid gets financially approved by the FAPT board for funding aid. 


Not every kid has the IACCT come through with an agreement for insurance to pay their part. 


Not every kid shows their behaviors in front of doctors or therapists in order to get referrals. 


Not every parent is believed. 


Not every kid gets this chance. 


And I had to fight tooth and nail every day for over a year…just begging someone to finally hear me. 


There’s no reason my kid should have gotten this chance over someone else’s child who also desperately needed it. And the weight of that sits with me a lot of days. 


A broken system, full of broken people, working with broken kids. 


And it hurts a lot. The parents, the kids, the families. There’s so much hurt. 


I have no answers for the questions of parents who are still begging for help. Or the ones that tragically don’t need it anymore. 

Only know that I sit with you in the ashes of the imperfect mental health system that so often fails our children. 


I pray for the parents and children who aren’t safe yet. 


For the caretakers that keep making referrals that get denied. 


For the people in this broken system trying their very best. 


And I thank the ones that helped me and my daughter. 


And I thank the Lord who opened and closed doors at His discretion so we could be where He called us to be. 

His steadfastness is what I cling to in all of this constant pain and upheaval. 


This journey has only just begun for Laura and I…but I’m so thankful that we have never been alone for any step of it. 

As we both take steps towards healing and growth, the prayers that have continued to shelter us have been profoundly impactful. 


The Cunningham Girls are still are it…writing a love story that will always have been worth the wait...and a story that will always be such a reminder of the goodness of God 🩶 


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