From Riches to Rags, and the Glory I Found There

There are so many stories out there about beautiful "rainbow babies". For those of you who aren't familiar with the term "rainbow baby" here is a simple explanation of the term. After we first lost Kimber I loved the term. I was so convinced that the Lord would provide a rainbow baby for us and show us that He saw our hurt and was blessing us with the sunshine and hope of another baby. But our empty arms stayed empty and our broken hearts continued to stay broken. Month after month, negative test after negative test, and still no baby. We did all the tracking and all the meds and still no rainbow baby. So, where did that leave us? We were in a perpetual state of trying to conceive and were always delaying trips or plans because of "what's ifs" and "maybe thens". We would count the months and see due dates and plan around them because we just kept thinking our rainbow baby was just around the corner. As the reality of our secondar...

There is a common thread of conversation amongst women who have lost a child, at almost every stage, "nobody wants to bring them up". Sometimes that is true, sometimes people don't bring up your baby. It's not that they don't remember or that they think your baby didn't matter. They don't bring up your baby because they're afraid of hurting you more. They're trying to respect your wishes and to follow your lead. But, please hear me when I say this, and I mean it in the kindest way possible, it is not someone else’s responsibility to make you feel better. Sure, it would be great if they could instantly know what you needed and give it to you, but they're human, so they can’t be responsible for our happiness.  It's time, we grieving mothers, to end our pity party and realize that we are responsible for our child's legacy, no one else. In the world we are given a "pass" to grieve however we like. Even if that means we are si...