October 15 - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Today my husband and I, along with some of our family and friends took part in a candlelight memorial walk and service held for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remebrance Day. I was asked to speak and nervously gave the speech below, for anyone interested ☺️. 

My son Kimber Paul Roosevelt was stillborn two years ago on September 4. He was 6lbs and 19 1/2 in long. He had beautiful red hair like his daddy and he had my family's nose. He was the most perfect little boy. 

During the most devastating time in our lives my husband and I clung to the Lord and the promises of who He is and what He is doing in our lives. 

Jeremiah 29:11 says 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I linger on this verse often. This is not all there is for us. Pain is not all there is for us. There is a plan, a purpose for all things, including this tragedy, including your tragedy. The plan that God has woven together promises to give us hope and a future. 

My heart hurt to badly after Kimber died that I struggled with what life could hold for us without him. How can his death possibly hold any good for us?

Romans 8:28 says 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

This verse soothes my soul. In my darkest hours I cling to this promise. Kimber's death has been worked together for our good. Not only that, but his death was worked together for his own good. Isn't that a miracle? Isn't that the greatest example of redemption in Christ? Even death cannot withhold blessings and joy, because death is not the end. Death has been defeated. 

One of the most pivotal points in my journey after Kimber died was when another mother of loss gave me some advice. She gently encouraged me to work my heart towards thanking God for Kimber's death.  

Psalm 115:17 says

"I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord."

God asks us to die to our flesh by giving thanks in the midst of our adversity and for the adversity. 

Our hearts fight against that sacrifice of thanksgiving. As parents it is the most unbearable thing to lose our children. We struggle to thank Him because it goes against our feelings and our logic. But what a sacrifice to commit to thanksgiving when everything within us wants to fight against what's happening. 

It's a surrender of control to the Sovereign Controller of all things. The acknowledgment that He is good and perfect, that His plan is good and perfect, and that He is in control. 

I pray that you find comfort in God as my husband and I have found peace and comfort that surpasses all human understanding. 

What a joy it will be when we are reunited with our children again in Heaven. And there, we will spend far more time with them than we have ever had to spend away from them. 

I would like to leave you with the lyrics of one of my favorite songs. 

I Will Carry You by Selah

I will carry you

While your heart beats here

Long beyond the empty cradle

Through the coming years

I will carry you

All your life

And I will praise the One Who's 

chosen Me To carry you