Goodbyes Always Come Too Soon

Now that the business of the holidays is over and we have, once again, settled into the familiar routine of life, I can write about our Little One.

We had her for 35 days. 35 hectic, crazy, wonderful days.

It's amazing how one little girl can make us a family. Suddenly I was a mom again and John was a dad again. It was beautiful.

Being a foster mom is an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. I absolutely loved being a mom to such a wonderful, beautiful, smart little girl! It was an amazing to blessing to see my husband being a father to her, our parents being her grandparents, our siblings being her aunts and uncles, and our nieces and nephews being her cousins.

And then, in a blink of an eye, she was gone.

I wish she could have stayed. I really would have kept her with us forever. I miss her so much.

Pictures of her fill our home, in places of honor next to the only pictures we have of our Kimber. And they will be the only pictures we have of her.

It hurts to say goodbye to another child. Once again we are left with only pictures and memories of her as a part of our family.

Goodbyes always seem to come too soon. But they have taught me how to truly treasure the memories and moments we made together. I know that she was a part of our family for exactly the amount of time that the Lord planned. We were given not a second more or a second less, as it was with Kimber.

We were beyond blessed to have Kimber for 9 months before he was born in God's arms, and we were, once again, beyond blessed to have had her for 35 days before she moved to a new home. A new home that we pray fills her with love and kindness and the knowledge of an amazing Savior.

Once again we are parents who have given our child back to the Lord's will, and once again we wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world.

Comments

John Died...2 Years Ago

John Died...2 years ago. 2 years...how has so much time passed? It feels like just yesterday I was writing about the 1 year anniversary of his death, congratulating all of us for surviving the brutality of that first year. Regardless, it feels like now is a good time to throw out some life updates, talk about how life as a 2nd year widow is going. It's great...definitely great...well, it's ok...sometimes it's ok...actually sometimes it's awful...it's always awful...no, no, it's usually fairly good...sometimes it's amazing. I guess it really just depends on the day... I no longer reach out in the middle of the night for him. I don't grab my phone to text him about something that just happened. I don't look for him in a crowd. I don't struggle to fall asleep alone. I don't even dream about him anymore... It would seem, that even my subconscious has truly accepted that he's gone. That's good...right? He is no longer a part of any of my

Christian Widowed Mother (34) - On The Market

Tomorrow would have have been my 15th wedding anniversary with John, had he not passed away just shy of our 13th anniversary. It still sometimes boggles my mind that "death do us part" happened so much sooner than we planned. And yet here I am...out in the dating world attempting to find "it" again. It certainly has me feeling some type of way, let me tell ya. And I think the past 1.5ish years I've spent in the dating world has also made lots of other people feel some type of way. "It is what it is" seems a bit of a cliched response...but it really is what it is. In the absence of a husband with whom to celebrate a covenant made many many moons ago...I feel like now is a good time to update the world (or my small corner of it) on how dating as a widowed Christian mother in her 30s is going. Here are some things I've learned: -"Christian" is a term used by so many men...yet personified by so very few of them. I am in a somewhat con

I. Am. Brave.

I. Am. Brave. I say those words to myself over and over again as I clean out my dead husband's garage and tool boxes and old work truck. I say them as tears fall, creating tracks down my face as they mix with the dirt and grease that have somehow found their way to my cheeks. I whisper them as I sit in a freezing cold garage after hours of work that seem to not make a dent in reshaping John's old haven into something usable for the widow that I am now. I sob them as I throw away another treasure, another memory...another moment lost forever. Just things...they're just things. But...sometimes "things" are all the tangibleness that's left after a 13 year marriage dissolves into tragedy. I. Am. Brave. I say those words as I sit at my kitchen table and homeschool my teenage daughter. Even though I never wanted to homeschool her. Even though I thought that I just didn't have the mental capacity to take on one more hard thing these days. I say it as she sto

From Riches to Rags, and the Glory I Found There

Search This Blog