I've been very hesitant to write this blog, even though I could feel my fingers itching to write. Writing is hard, about our new scary journey, about hopes and dreams and about heartbreak, because it's all possible.
Just a quick history on our big decision...
Guess what!?!?
Isn't it wonderful!? We are starting on this amazing adventure and let's just be honest....it's absolutely terrifying!
“And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.” -Matthew 18:5
John and I have been trying to concieve (TTC to our fellow infertility journeyers) since we lost Kimber, so about 10 long rough months. And unfortunately, even with taking clomid again (how we conceived Kimber) we haven't been able to get pregnant. To say it's been difficult wouldn't even begin to describe it, but that another blog post for a other day.
For years we have talked about adopting, always wanting to do it whenever we felt God called us to it. We started talking and praying seriously about adopting at the beginning of the year. Talking about the cost and fundraisers, out of country adoptions, in-state adoptions (seriously praying someone would drop a baby in my lap!), paperwork, agencies, snowflake adoption (adopting frozen embryos and the going through IVF treatments-thus carrying and giving birth to our adopted child) and endless information. If you've never looked it up...let me tell you, it's overwhelming.
Quite a few people mentioned adopting through foster care to us and we quickly brushed it aside with painful whispers of "we can't lose another child....not again...we can't love them for a year and have them taken away...not again". It's pretty unbearable to think of.
We decided to put adoption on the back burner until we were debt free (fingers crossed by January 2015!) so we could adopt without any debt.
In March my husband, John, attended a class at our church and informed me afterwards with a short little text "I think we should do foster care". BAM!!! Talk about dropping a load of bricks...through TEXT! Meanwhile I was 4 hours away in Va Beach visiting friends hyperventilating in the car because he wanted me to go through losing a child again (not exactly the story of "accepting our calling with grace" that you read about).
When we had a chance to talk thoroughly about it he said
"We were just praying and all of the sudden God told me that we were being selfish. We are denying a child the love and security of our home because we are afraid of being heartbroken again, when they are living in constant brokenness". Of course his words burned me to my core, they set me on fire with an overwhelming push towards something I had been pushing away.
"We will be broken together."
We have no guarantees in this life, we have no idea how long we have with the ones we love. We have renewed determination that we will love each and every one of our children for however long The Lord blesses us with them, whether it is 2 weeks, 9 months, or a year.
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families..” -Psalm 68:5-6a
So here we are....taking the plunge into foster care...we are adopting...
( ^adorable right!?!?)
Most likely we won't have a Cinderella story adoption journey. It will probably be rough and scary and will entail quite a bit of heartbreak somewhere along the road. We aren't necessarily prepared for it (is there any way to be?) but we are ready for it.
We started our Foster Parent Training classes last week and learned a ridiculous amount of information in a packed 7 hour class. We have three more classes to take and then we will be certified. All of our paperwork is in and our background checks are going through right now. Our next step is the home study (Talk about a lot of prep work for that! We need locks on EVERYTHING!). We are praying that goes well and that by the end of September we will have everything completed and ready to be foster parents!
We prayed and thought a lot about the age rages we were going to request and we were led to the ages 0-3. Honestly, I felt a little guilty about choosing an age group, when there are so many children in need of a forever family, but we prayed separately and both came to the same conclusion and we are trusting that that is where we need to be right now. We were also led to welcome siblings into our home, we are hoping we are able to stop siblings from being separated.
We are praying every step of the way. We have amazing support from our family members and close friends whom we have told. They've been supporting us emotionally, physically and spiritually.
We ask that you also join us in prayer. We know The Lord is leading us and we are trying to follow whatever He shall call us to.
"For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11
Please pray specifically that we are physically and emotionally prepared when a child enters our home. Pray that we can love and support them despite all circumstances.
Please pray that when we receive the phone call informing us we were matched that we can hear the Lord's voice and will choose what He has for us.
Pray that, in everything, we remember that The Lord is faithful and He does have an amazing plan for us.
Words cannot express how thankful we are that you are praying for us and are joining us on our journey.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28
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