I remember waking up in the middle of the night and noticing that John wasn’t in bed with me. I went looking for him and found him in the kitchen. I went to hug him but he brushed me off and stepped away. I asked him to come to bed with me but he shook his head and said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. When I asked why, he spent several minutes explaining all the ways that I had failed at showing him love. I was selfish, and self-centered. I was dramatic and overbearing. I didn’t give space for him to be who he wanted. He did not love me anymore because I did not love him enough. I stared at him and begged him to give me another chance, just one more chance. I had never realized how horrible of a wife I’d been, but I could change. But he refused to give me another chance. He said he’d found someone else, someone who loved him well, and he had decided to love her instead. And then I woke up. Nightmares have been plaguing me lately. At first they were somewha...
This blog is an outlet though which I can share about my life and the part that God plays in it. I have suffered great grief within these pages, but great love has met me here too. Hopefully this blog will always be a light that points to Jesus. I have come from riches, been reduced to rags, but it is in the darkest moments of life that God's glory has truly been displayed.