From Riches to Rags, and the Glory I Found There

Some day...days like today, I struggle . I struggle to trust in God's promises, to believe in His goodness, to hope in His plan.  Because it have been five years, and hundreds of pregnancy tests since we started asking God for a child.  Because with every failed cycle of fertility meds my heart hopes just a little less.  Because two years ago I held my son in my arms and desperately willed him to breath, to live. Because every adoption prospect that falls through reminds me of the lack of a miracle.  Because having to give up the chance to adopt our foster daughter resounded in our hearts likes the final nail in a coffin.  Because we are finally selling the very last of our baby items that we kept saving "just in case".  Because we have suffered.... and we are suffering. This season of Christmas is constantly reminding me of the suffering that our Lord experienced to bring us unbelievable joy, and unrelenting hope.  ...