Kimber died. 2 1/2 years ago, he died. And it almost felt like we died too. Like our very breath had been stolen from our lungs. It literally felt like we were defying nature when we to buried our child.
I say this so you can try to grasp how broken we were at that time. Time stood still the moment he died, the second his heart stopped beating.
Have you been there? In a moment that threatened to last forever and was so unbearable that you were terrified if you would never get out of it alive?
But, the world doesn't stop, it just keeps revolving. And we learned, we can't just stop either.
Slowly God asked us to move forward, step by step. Steps we weren't sure we were ready for. Steps that scared us beyond human comprehension.
But He held us as we took them, every single, unstable step.
He gave us infertility and asked us to walk...to walk and to still be with Him.
He gave us our son, Kimber, and He let us walk as we fell in love.
He welcomed our son home, long before us, and He asked us to walk...
We were so unbearable lost and broken, but He asked us to walk.
Looking back I see us clearly. Desperately clinging to each other in a tailspin, begging Him to just take it all away.
But He was there, the ever present Father.
I see Him, putting His arms under our arms and supporting us.
He carried us so we could walk.
As His children, He recognized that we didn't know how to walk anymore, we had been broken, and we couldn't walk.
He taught us how to walk again.
The beauty and profoundness in that is not lost on me.
We have a Father who teaches his children to walk again.
He stabilized us, so we could get our footing, then He asked us to walk again.
That is was our Father does. He comforts you, and pushes you forward when you're too scared or broken to move yourself.
He sees the perfect plan and He guides you to each path. He chooses not to force you to walk it, but He urges you and supports you so that you can do it.
He just keeps asking you to walk, honor Him and walk, glorify Him and walk, praise Him and walk.
Where are you?
Are you walking?
Are you broken?
Are you waiting?
Are you scared of the next steps?
Are you maybe even walking backwards?
He is faithful, simply fall back into His arms, and let Him teach you to walk again.
And one day...He will ask you to dance with Him again...
and you will remember your dance....
"For You have turned my mourning into dancing..." Psalm 30:11
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