Have you ever read 2 Corinthians 1:3-4?
Have you just skimmed over it?
Have you thought, "oh, that's nice, comforting people is always good"?
Have you thought one day someone might be there to comfort you?
But, have you READ it?
Have you let it sink into your soul?
Have you read it and felt the calling?
Have you wondered how there could ever have
been a time it didn't mean as much to you?
been a time it didn't mean as much to you?
Have you felt the power of God's word flow from your head to your heart as He calls you into something so much bigger than yourself, so much bigger than your own suffering?
I have never known comfort quite like when we sat in the hospital
holding the body of our only child in our arms.
I have never know joy quite like when we smiled and laughed
and shared our son with whomever wanted to meet him.
We had an amazing support system. Amazing family members, amazing friends, amazing church family, and amazing nurses and midwife. They supported us through our birth and for the most tragic and beautiful day we have ever experienced.
The Lord has worked in our hearts drastically over the past 2 1/2 years since Kimber's death. He has shown us so much grace and unbelievable comfort as we mourn our son.
We fully recognize that His spirit was heavily laid on us while we were in the hospital. We felt the prayers being lifted up on our behalves and we now truly know the peace that surpasses all understanding.
During the past few months the Lord has been laying mothers on my heart. Mothers of loss. Last year I joined a letter writing ministry and began writing to mothers who have lost their children.
(Michelle and her volunteers ministered to me shortly after Kimber's death. You can sign-up yourself, or sign-up a loved one at this website Joy Comes In The Morning I highly recommend this Christ-centered ministry to any mother who has experienced the loss of a child.)
But it was not enough...there was more I needed to do.
So, I began to pray about what my next step needed to be. Where was the Lord leading me and what was my calling?
After so much prayer, and a wee bit of hesitation, I am officially registered and about to start classes to become a certified Birth and Bereavement Doula.
This process has not been an easy one. As I have had to fight anxiety over the fact that I would be placing myself in situations in which death would be devastatingly present, and my own loss will continually be remembered.
Every pain, every emotion, every memory....every time.
But we had something amazing in that hospital room. We were able to experience a miracle, and I know that God is calling me to share that miracle with other parents. To point to Him when the darkness seems to hide his face.
I have been so blessed to have been sponsored by my church and some anonymous individuals and was able to sign up last week!
So, its official!!! I'm a Stillbirthday University Student!!
It's a 12 week course that teaches all about serving women who have lost their children. Both during labor and afterwards, but specific emphasis on labor and birth. They teach you how to support mothers through birth from 4 weeks to full term. also how to help them capture memories and make their experience meaningful at every stage. I'm excited but nervous about being around loss so much. I know that this will be a meaningful and sanctifying journey for me, as well as for the families I will minister to. I'm looking forward to trying to remove the stigma surrounding loss. Even in Christian circles, loss seems to be swept under the rug a little. I want to enable women to find their support and hope in Christ and to feel joy in the gift He has given them with their children.
The class will definitely bring up a lot of things I've laid before the Lord. I pray that I am able to accept the pain and open wounds with grace and peace, and that I am able to lay everything down before the Lord once again.
It feels big and scary and absolutely GLORIOUS to be starting this adventure. To hear the calling of the Lord and to answer...
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