One Grieving Mother To Another...Give Grace

Grace can be defined as "the love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to deserve it."

As grieving mothers we are gifted with so much grace from others. 

We have husbands who hold us while we weep uncontrollably and hold us together when we feel like our lives have fallen apart.

We have parents who look at us and our loss is mirrored in their eyes. They remind you that we are strong and that they are proud of you...even when we don't deserve it. 

We have sisters who weep with us, who let us rage about how unfair life us, and who remind us that they miss their nephew too.

We have friends who commiserate with us, and try their hardest to understand and to be there for us. Friends who think life is unfair too. 

 We have ushers in our church who hug us as we're suddenly weeping in our seats because the sermon is about motherhood, reminding us that we will be reunited one day.

We have countless women who hug us and weep with us on Mother's Day. Women who know our pain and women who don't.

The world extends us grace. They forgive unreturned phone calls and texts. They listen to angry rants and love us. They acknowledge our loss and accept that it has changed us forever in so many ways. They give us grace.

We must extend grace to the world as well...

Because people say some pretty stupid things. People say some extremely thoughtless things. People even say some hurtful things. 

But they really don't mean to. They are just so confused and they are trying to grieve along with you. They are so desperately lost for words that they cannot comprehend that what they're saying is awful, hurtful, or just plain ridiculous.

The point is that they are trying to ease our pain. They are trying to give us hope. They are trying to love us. They are trying to grieve with us.

They don't know whether to laugh with you, or cry with you, or just be normal, because they want you to feel normal again too. 

They have not experienced exactly our loss but they are trying.

Do not get angry at them, do not become bitter because they cannot understand what you've been through. 

Give them grace, because they are trying the best they can. 

Give them grace, because they are grieving too.

Give them grace, because sometimes life is just unfair.

Give them grace, because we were extended grace when we did not deserve it.