One of my best friends sent me this song today and said "This is you"...I listened to it and I wept...
Guys, I haven't had lyrics hit my heart so hard in a very long time. I texted my friend back and said "I'll build a boat in the desert place...that filled my whole soul".
Because that is what I am doing here. I'm just trying to build the boat that the Lord has called me to build in this barren desert place that I am in.
And. It. Is. Hard.
Because it doesn't always make sense, this life that I am choosing to live. It often doesn't make sense to others and sometimes it doesn't even make sense to me. But here I am, sitting in the desert asking God to give me the tools I need to build this boat. Board by board...nail by nail.
I choose to build this boat because I believe that He parted the Red Sea...
I choose to build this boat because I believe that He made the walls of Jericho fall...
I choose to build this boat because I believe in the bloody cross and the empty tomb...
I choose to build this boat because I believe He will send the rains...
He. Will. Send. The. Rains.
I don't want to live my life for the certainties of the world. I don't want to accept what the world has to offer simply because it's substantial and concrete in this moment. I am not living for this world, nor its false or empty promises.
I am building a boat because that is my calling. The calling that has seen my joy and seen my grief. The calling that watched as both members of my little family died and left me so very much alone. The calling that existed as the spring evaporated from the ground and created this desert place I am in.
The calling that still exists...even in this desert place.
Let us honor the sanctity of the boat builders in our lives.
Let us not ask people to explain their stories to us...but instead ask them to share their stories with us...for there is such a great difference.
Let us not criticize too harshly the mishaps along the way. We all have had them. Me, very much, included.
I promise that they hurt me too. And I am just as sorry that they happened. I wish learning didn't have to come with hurt...but we rarely get out unscathed when we attempt something new. I am sorry that my hurts also hurt you.
I am just trying my very best at building something that I've never built before.
A new story...
A new hope...
A new motherhood...
A new adventure, even when I was too scared to hope for one before...I am building a new one...because, I guess, I am still an adventurer after all...
I'll build a boat in the desert place...
Because He has called me to this...
And. He. WILL. Send. The. Rains.
Amen! When you need re-supplying, we'll share with you. ❤️
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