One of the popular Facebook pages related to the grief of losing a child recently asked the question:
Does time heal all wounds?
The answer was an overwhelming and resounding "no" from the commenters. It was a feed of hurt and brokenness, and I ached for them all.
When was it decided that time, in fact, had the authority to heal?
I wonder if it was a concept brought on by the narrative of "its been long enough, your grief should be done"? Its something that is certainly said enough, often by people who simple cannot understand your grief (in whatever capacity it exists, for whatever reason).
It seems like something the grief community mistakingly adopted in order to try to control their own narrative surrounding grief. Admitting that "yes, I will one day be "healed" but I need time...more time."
Because, apparently, "time heals all wounds", didn't you know?
I firmly believe that losing a child, or any loved one, is actually not something that one can be, or even need to be, "healed" from.
Gasp and shock?!
Now, don't get me wrong, these events are filled with trauma (physical and emotional), bitterness, anger, and a myriad of other things that we can actually heal from.
But, this world was created to be finite. Which means, that death was in the plan. God knew where our world was heading prior to creation, He was no stranger to death, it was a natural consequence of our own actions, our own depravity.
The loss of a loved one is not something to "heal" from. There is not healing when something you love is removed from your life for the rest of your life.
To claim that we, in fact, heal from the loss, is to claim that we are made new again. And sorry, that's not how this world works, just wait until eternity, y'all .
They existed, they were loved, and they mattered. For however long, in whatever way. They changed us, and I, for one, would never choose to go back to the way I was before them.
I have been made better because Kimber lived in me, and then he died. I have still been made better, despite the fact that his life ended far earlier that I ever wanted. I don't want to ever go back to a time when he didn't exist.
Time is merely a collection of moments, with no authority in healing, and our loved ones are far more than mere moments. So, mere moments cannot take away their influence.
We were designed to endure loss, to embrace it, and to love in it.
Jesus has the authority to heal. To make our hearts continue to beat when their hearts stop. To bring the light again when we thought light wouldn't shine again.
In His infinite wisdom, He chose to make them matter. He chose to make love greater than death.
Death has indeed defeated time, but we must never forget the one who defeated death, even death on a cross.
Does time heal all wounds?
The answer was an overwhelming and resounding "no" from the commenters. It was a feed of hurt and brokenness, and I ached for them all.
When was it decided that time, in fact, had the authority to heal?
I wonder if it was a concept brought on by the narrative of "its been long enough, your grief should be done"? Its something that is certainly said enough, often by people who simple cannot understand your grief (in whatever capacity it exists, for whatever reason).
It seems like something the grief community mistakingly adopted in order to try to control their own narrative surrounding grief. Admitting that "yes, I will one day be "healed" but I need time...more time."
Because, apparently, "time heals all wounds", didn't you know?
I firmly believe that losing a child, or any loved one, is actually not something that one can be, or even need to be, "healed" from.
Gasp and shock?!
Now, don't get me wrong, these events are filled with trauma (physical and emotional), bitterness, anger, and a myriad of other things that we can actually heal from.
But, this world was created to be finite. Which means, that death was in the plan. God knew where our world was heading prior to creation, He was no stranger to death, it was a natural consequence of our own actions, our own depravity.
The loss of a loved one is not something to "heal" from. There is not healing when something you love is removed from your life for the rest of your life.
To claim that we, in fact, heal from the loss, is to claim that we are made new again. And sorry, that's not how this world works, just wait until eternity, y'all .
They existed, they were loved, and they mattered. For however long, in whatever way. They changed us, and I, for one, would never choose to go back to the way I was before them.
I have been made better because Kimber lived in me, and then he died. I have still been made better, despite the fact that his life ended far earlier that I ever wanted. I don't want to ever go back to a time when he didn't exist.
Time is merely a collection of moments, with no authority in healing, and our loved ones are far more than mere moments. So, mere moments cannot take away their influence.
We were designed to endure loss, to embrace it, and to love in it.
Jesus has the authority to heal. To make our hearts continue to beat when their hearts stop. To bring the light again when we thought light wouldn't shine again.
In His infinite wisdom, He chose to make them matter. He chose to make love greater than death.
Death has indeed defeated time, but we must never forget the one who defeated death, even death on a cross.
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