Daring to Dream

Hello Friends!

We've had a bit of a whirlwind of activity the past few weeks. My sister and I (along with our eager-to-help family members) helped plan and execute my brothers wedding (congratulations Daniel and Crystal!) and...

We had our first home visit! EEK! It's becoming real, haha! 

The visit went really well (thanks to my awesome sisters, Heidi and Heather, for taking time out of wedding prep to help me!). Our case worker is a wonderful lady who is very friendly. She was so easy to talk to and I'm looking forward to working with her in the future.

We have three more home visits that we need to finish before we can be certified, and just a few things that we need to fix/lock up to get the house ready (screens on all the windows, locking up all medicines, locking up cleaning supplies, and just a little more bedroom prep). It's nice to be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel!

John and I have been praying about how prepared we should be for our child. It's definitely been a struggle in my heart that I do not want to have all these things around the house that never get used. I've had to deal with that pain once already in this life and certainly don't want to experience it again. Last week I was praying and writing in my journal and I realized how much I had been holding back "just in case". I don't want to be hurt. But, in this life, we are hurt because we love. I want to love our children, for however long we have them, even if it takes forever to get them. I would never change what we had with Kimber, especially how much we loved him, even though our love made his loss more painful. 

So, John and I have decided to hold nothing back, we are trusting that The Lord is faithful and that He is not leading us down this path in vain. We are working towards buying all the things we need if we get a baby or toddler placed with us (new crib, toiletries, bedding, toys, books, nightlights, and more :-) ). We aren't going crazy, but we do want to have the basics in our home when we get a placement. 

My heart feels lighter and more hopeful now that we've made that decision! It's so nice to let go and to start loving the family that The Lord is knitting together for us. Because of His great love, we have such hope and so much love ourselves.

Last night I dreamed about our child, and for the first time the dream wasn't about pregnancy. I dreamed about a sweet little child placed in our arms by a social worker. This precious child made us a family...

We are dreaming big...because He is dreaming for us!

    "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28