Fairly often, particularly on my rough days, I find myself missing all the things that Kimber never got to experience. Regret is a slippery slope...I do not want to fall into bitterness over "what if"s and "should have"s. So, today is a "Blessing Blog" - of sorts. Let me share with you some of the places that we went with Kimber and some of the experiences we were able to have as a family.
Words could not express our pure joy over Kimber. When we announced him to the world their joy was overwhelming. Friends and family cried happily for us, men gave John heavy slaps on the back and hugs. So many people rubbed my belly over the months, greeting him and talking with him from the moment they knew he existed. He brought so much joy, so much happiness, so much love.
My sweet Kimber experienced the snow...so much wonderful snow in the few winter months he was here for. I'm sure he knew how much his parents love the snow (especially his Mommy!). We played in the snow as he grew, a wee little Lima bean, and experienced a wonderful snowfall in early spring.
My sweet darling boy took a trip with his Grammy, and aunts, and a dear friend, and his cousin Lillian. He walked with me around Lancaster, Pa and saw all the interesting Amish things. He experienced Noah at the Sight and Sound Theater, I bought him a soft book about Noah and the Ark...
This was the first book we read to him. My best friend got it for him. I loved listening to my husband's voice as he read to our child. A precious experience that is treasured memory.
I remember the first time I felt him move...he was about 19 weeks, I was just sitting on the couch and John was getting ready for work. I felt the unmistakable "plip plop" (nope, no flutters for this little guy). What a joy! I didn't feel him again until a week later when my husband was revving his truck and our sweet boy danced with the vibration. John was completely thrilled that his baby already loved his truck. He didn't feel Kimber move for a few more weeks. It was in the middle of a movie at the Alamo and I made John feel my stomach and, after a few minutes of awkward fumbling, he felt his son move, you never forget moments like that.
We spent countless hours laying in bed together and watching my son move my stomach all around. John would lay his head on my stomach and feel him move, sometimes that was the only time he would move for
his Daddy. We spent a lot of time together as a family, and we were a family...he may have been inside my womb, but he was no less with us every day. His aunts felt him move, his cousins, my friends, and the little boys I nanny all felt him move. There were days when John would try to get him to kick while he felt my stomach and Kimber wouldn't budge but as soon as he left Bobby would put his hands on my stomach and Kimber would kick him so hard. I loved their faces, Bobby, Camden, and Caleb, as he kicked their little hands. "Kackie, can I feel the baby today?!" such precious requests.
Kimber often slept with his sweet cousin Lillian, just a few months older than him.I rocked them both to sleep. Heidi and I hoped that they would be so close to each other...and they were, for a short time, they were.
He had so many adventures with his family, we had so many different get-togethers. He played with Camden, Payton, Bobby, and Caleb. He kicked and moved as we played together.
My favorite memory of family will always be the beach, when we were all together, Kimber was not missing.
Kimber and I spent hours reading on the beach, swimming in the ocean and in the sound, and walking along the beach. I love the beach, Kimber was so active that I'm sure he loved it too.
My sisters and friends threw me a wonderful baby shower. It was so thoughtful and so loving. I will never forget how happy I was, how happy everyone was. So many woman (and even one man) come out to celebrate Kimber with us. They all brought him books and decorated things for him and for his room. He experienced a storybook party, and I read him all the sweet things people wrote about him.
Kimber sat with me as his daddy and I painted his room and assembled his crib and arranged his bedroom (mainly Daddy). We sat with Grammy as she spent hours hand sketching and painting Dr. Seuss characters all over his walls. His room is a treasure, so much love went into every single part of it...
Kimber Paul Roosevelt...my handsome little boy, he most definitely experienced some gender confusion on our part. My sweetheart was called Genevieve for about half of his life. Poor little boy. we all thought he was going to be a girl...so everything was girly. Pink carseat, pink bedroom, pink clothes, even a few purple cloth diapers! It took everyone months to learn how to pronounce Genevieve (Gen-vee-ev) and then a little BOY showed up!!
My sweetheart was thumb-sucker...just like his Mommy! I love this sonogram picture, it is a beautiful shot of him and shows a little bit about who he was. It may not be a lot, but it means so much to me.
We went to movies together, the last of which was Despicable Me 2. Afterwards I said that was my last movie, I was 9 months pregnant and it was SO uncomfortable sitting in the theater for 2 hours! We went to all sorts of different get-togethers, and even attended a Woman of Faith conference together. We were in a room in which thousands of woman praised the Lord together, it was amazing! He experienced so many holidays. His uncle Jonathan's birthday (we found out we were pregnant with him!) his Grammy's birthday (Surprise! We're pregnant!), Valentine's Day, His Aunt Amanda's birthday, His Uncle Chris' birthday, Easter, his cousin Lillian's birth, Mother's Day, his aunt Crystal's birthday, Father's Day, his Daddy's birthday, his cousin Brook's birthday, his parents' 5th wedding anniversary, the 4th of July, his uncles Andrew, Daniel, and Michael's birthdays, his cousin Payton's birthday, and...his last holiday...it was his Grumpsy's birthday.
This is the last picture I took of us together before he passed away. It was a Thursday, after our doctors appointment where we heard his precious heartbeat for the very last time. It was a beautiful and precious sound. 154 bpm...he kicked the Midwife's Doppler as she tried to find his heartbeat. He was moving around so much after I took this picture that I tried to take a video to send to his Daddy, but he wouldn't cooperate. His shyness he definitely did not get from his Mommy, that's his Daddy in him.
What will probably be my favorite experience is all of his prayers. Every single night of Kimber's life John and I prayed over him. Every..single..night. I am beyond blessed to have experienced those prayers with Kimber and with John. We prayed our last prayer over him before they took him away at the hospital, and we have thanked God for Kimber every night since.
So here they are...the first picture of us as a family and the very last picture of us as a family. But no regrets because in-between we had unspeakable joy and wonderful memories. We were a family...we lived our life together to the fullest. God has blessed us, and we count it as such.
My sweet Kimber experienced the snow...so much wonderful snow in the few winter months he was here for. I'm sure he knew how much his parents love the snow (especially his Mommy!). We played in the snow as he grew, a wee little Lima bean, and experienced a wonderful snowfall in early spring.
My sweet darling boy took a trip with his Grammy, and aunts, and a dear friend, and his cousin Lillian. He walked with me around Lancaster, Pa and saw all the interesting Amish things. He experienced Noah at the Sight and Sound Theater, I bought him a soft book about Noah and the Ark...This was the first book we read to him. My best friend got it for him. I loved listening to my husband's voice as he read to our child. A precious experience that is treasured memory.
I remember the first time I felt him move...he was about 19 weeks, I was just sitting on the couch and John was getting ready for work. I felt the unmistakable "plip plop" (nope, no flutters for this little guy). What a joy! I didn't feel him again until a week later when my husband was revving his truck and our sweet boy danced with the vibration. John was completely thrilled that his baby already loved his truck. He didn't feel Kimber move for a few more weeks. It was in the middle of a movie at the Alamo and I made John feel my stomach and, after a few minutes of awkward fumbling, he felt his son move, you never forget moments like that.
We spent countless hours laying in bed together and watching my son move my stomach all around. John would lay his head on my stomach and feel him move, sometimes that was the only time he would move for
Kimber often slept with his sweet cousin Lillian, just a few months older than him.I rocked them both to sleep. Heidi and I hoped that they would be so close to each other...and they were, for a short time, they were. He had so many adventures with his family, we had so many different get-togethers. He played with Camden, Payton, Bobby, and Caleb. He kicked and moved as we played together.
My favorite memory of family will always be the beach, when we were all together, Kimber was not missing.Kimber and I spent hours reading on the beach, swimming in the ocean and in the sound, and walking along the beach. I love the beach, Kimber was so active that I'm sure he loved it too.
My sisters and friends threw me a wonderful baby shower. It was so thoughtful and so loving. I will never forget how happy I was, how happy everyone was. So many woman (and even one man) come out to celebrate Kimber with us. They all brought him books and decorated things for him and for his room. He experienced a storybook party, and I read him all the sweet things people wrote about him.Kimber sat with me as his daddy and I painted his room and assembled his crib and arranged his bedroom (mainly Daddy). We sat with Grammy as she spent hours hand sketching and painting Dr. Seuss characters all over his walls. His room is a treasure, so much love went into every single part of it...Kimber Paul Roosevelt...my handsome little boy, he most definitely experienced some gender confusion on our part. My sweetheart was called Genevieve for about half of his life. Poor little boy. we all thought he was going to be a girl...so everything was girly. Pink carseat, pink bedroom, pink clothes, even a few purple cloth diapers! It took everyone months to learn how to pronounce Genevieve (Gen-vee-ev) and then a little BOY showed up!!My sweetheart was thumb-sucker...just like his Mommy! I love this sonogram picture, it is a beautiful shot of him and shows a little bit about who he was. It may not be a lot, but it means so much to me.We went to movies together, the last of which was Despicable Me 2. Afterwards I said that was my last movie, I was 9 months pregnant and it was SO uncomfortable sitting in the theater for 2 hours! We went to all sorts of different get-togethers, and even attended a Woman of Faith conference together. We were in a room in which thousands of woman praised the Lord together, it was amazing! He experienced so many holidays. His uncle Jonathan's birthday (we found out we were pregnant with him!) his Grammy's birthday (Surprise! We're pregnant!), Valentine's Day, His Aunt Amanda's birthday, His Uncle Chris' birthday, Easter, his cousin Lillian's birth, Mother's Day, his aunt Crystal's birthday, Father's Day, his Daddy's birthday, his cousin Brook's birthday, his parents' 5th wedding anniversary, the 4th of July, his uncles Andrew, Daniel, and Michael's birthdays, his cousin Payton's birthday, and...his last holiday...it was his Grumpsy's birthday.
This is the last picture I took of us together before he passed away. It was a Thursday, after our doctors appointment where we heard his precious heartbeat for the very last time. It was a beautiful and precious sound. 154 bpm...he kicked the Midwife's Doppler as she tried to find his heartbeat. He was moving around so much after I took this picture that I tried to take a video to send to his Daddy, but he wouldn't cooperate. His shyness he definitely did not get from his Mommy, that's his Daddy in him.What will probably be my favorite experience is all of his prayers. Every single night of Kimber's life John and I prayed over him. Every..single..night. I am beyond blessed to have experienced those prayers with Kimber and with John. We prayed our last prayer over him before they took him away at the hospital, and we have thanked God for Kimber every night since.
So here they are...the first picture of us as a family and the very last picture of us as a family. But no regrets because in-between we had unspeakable joy and wonderful memories. We were a family...we lived our life together to the fullest. God has blessed us, and we count it as such.
Katharine,
ReplyDeleteI am so blessed to have you as a sister. Over the last five months, your faith and continual trust in the Lord has challenged and encouraged my own. You are so young, yet so mature in your relationship with God.
Thank you for sharing these blog posts. They offer your readers a chance to see again the power and faithfulness of God. He is faithful and continues to walk us through every situation and circumstance we encounter throughout our lives.
I love you Dear Sister!
~Heather